A fat person’s beauty, sense of self-worth and right to be treated with respect is not dependent on having a thin white boyfriend
Fat acceptance is realising that diets cannot make my body thin, and rejecting diet culture.
Fat acceptance means knowing that fat bodies are sexually attractive (and that they absolutely do not have to be).
Fat acceptance means living my life in the body that I currently have.
Fat acceptance means refusing to have others’ insecurities projected into my life.
Fat acceptance means a commitment to intersectionality.
Fat acceptance means that my weight does not define my character, interests or personality.
Fat acceptance means I will eat all the fucking cake if I want to, and you can go to hell.
Okay, so I’ve been considering your message, and here’s the thing.
When you’re fat, you get told these lies about yourself: you’re lazy, unlikeable, unfunny, unattractive, and will never achieve your dreams. Then you get told that ‘when’ lose weight, these problems will cease to exist. You will magically reach the top of your career, get invited to more events than you can attend and have marriage proposals coming out of your ears.
Now, neither of those things are true. But from the force of it being repeated, you start to think it is. Some part of you does. And so all issues in your life become related to fat. They will go away when you somehow shrink physically. You get invested in that idea because that idea underpins a lot of our culture.
It’s great to hear that you’ve come to accept your body. Is it possible that now your focus has moved away from being thin, you’re having a hard time separating the insecurities that used to be associated with your weight?
It’s possible to be fat and unhappy for entirely unrelated reasons. Just as thin people can be unhappy for non-body image reasons.
My suggestion to you would be to have a think about what exactly is making you miserable. You mentioned that you don’t have friends right now, is that it? Are there some skills you want to pick up, or maybe a dream job you’re aiming for? That might help you work out ways to move forward.
If this feeling has been going on for some time, it’s possible that you could have an illness and might consider seeing your doctor (I know, minefield when you’re a fatty). No simple thought exercise is going to cure that right away.
Anyway, in summary I’d ask you to bear in mind that being happy with your body won’t make you happy with other aspects of your life. Please don’t be hard on yourself for feeling down. Also, you’re always welcome to talk to me, anon or not.
Can someone explain why there are thin guys trying to lead the fat acceptance movement/fat women because… boners.
How can anyone be so fucking patronising
So. Taking a brief moment out of my busy schedule of tea & Adventure Time to use this thing as an actual blog.
Let’s talk about how we put fat women in this fucked up double bind situation when it comes to diet culture.
The one whereby they learn to give, receive, express affection through food before we hit them with 3733874 messages about how wrong that is.
We teach fat women that they are not allowed to love food. They are not allowed to be interested in food. They are not to like food, or even admit to eating it half of the time. And don’t get me started on eating in public.
It’s fucking awesome that there is so much fat positivity happening at the moment (not without its flaws), but discussing how beautiful fat people are is not the whole solution to fat shaming, you know? We need to deconstruct this perception that there is a causal link between food and fat. We need to stop assuming that only thin people have eating disorders.
TL;DR I am side-eyeing my sandwich right now, but got a bit closer to understanding why.
THIS THIS THIS THIS.
More men need to step up and share the responsibility for dealing with these assholes instead of just leaving it to the women that experience this shit all the fucking time.
There’s no magic formula. We get bombarded with bullshit messages all day every day. It fucking sucks, and part of the solution has to be about dismantling that culture.
However, some tips to help you battle the system:
- Remove as many sources of fat shaming media as possible. This might mean you have to ignore the magazines lying around in the staff room at work or stop watching a certain TV show. Minimise exposure to it. I promise it’ll be worth it.
- Think about who you interact with on a regular basis, and how their behaviour impacts you. You have every right to cut ties with someone who puts you down or mistreats you. Those people were never your friends and you don’t need them.
- Immerse yourself in as much body positivity as you possibly can. Tumblr is great for this. Time and money permitting, get into some fat acceptance reading. Soak in all you can from the many people who are writing about, creating art and photographing fatties in the way they deserve.
- GET SEXIFIED AND DANCE AROUND BY YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU ARE WONDERFUL. Touch yourself and think about how wonderful you are. Perhaps you could make a list of all the beautiful aspects of your body and stick it around the house.
The whole idea that we should be nicer to a person just because he has a preference only serves to exacerbate the idea that being fat is something wrong, different, other. That the few people who DO like fat girls should be encouraged and get special treatment because oh, goodness gracious, we wouldn’t want to scare them off!
Newsflash: chubby chasers are a dime a dozen.
If I want to be a dick to someone because he’s told me he’s a chubby chaser or an FA, I have every right to do that. The connotation there, for too long, for too many people, is too strong. I am not a fetish, and I’m more than my body type. I don’t give a fuck if you’re an FA, a chubby chaser, or if you don’t define yourself at all. If you objectify me or my body, I don’t have to be ‘civil’. I don’t have to be a ‘lady.’ I don’t have to THANK you for finding me attractive. I will not reward bad behavior."
I AM DONE WITH IT
I WILL NOT BE SPOKEN OVER
I WILL NOT RESPOND TO VIOLENCE WITH POLITE WORDS
I WILL NOT PUT YOUR COMFORT BEFORE MY SAFETY
GO AHEAD AND ASK ME TO BE NICER
I FUCKING DARE YOU
You need to be down with the fat rolls
and the stretch marks
and the chub rub.
If you looking at the inside of my thighs and you’re like “ew they are dark. You got chub rub”. You ain’t down there for the right reason. You ain’t sight seeing.
Enjoy my cellulite.
Love my belly.
Like because I’m tired of being insecure during sex. I’m not leaving my clothes on. I ain’t turning the light off. I’m not sucking my stomach in.
Because if you really want to fuck me. You gotta fuck all of me. You gotta love all of me.
I’m not gonna not enjoy sex because of your bullshit standards.
You can take yo shit elsewhere.
I got dick lined up.
I got pussy lined up.
I can get mine elsewhere.
You missed out on some good ass fat sex.
Does that already exist?
THIS IS HAPPENING
FATS START TAKING PICTURES
LET’S MAKE THIS AS AMAZING AS WE KNOW IT CAN BE